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ohmyfriggingosh

ever since that event back in the day, i haven't forgotten it since. the past 6 months that it's happened have been ok, but i've been somewhat living in my own silent hell. the more i try hiding it, the easier it's gotten. til things got better between us and once everything started up again, i realized how much i missed you, but i also realized how much i hated you. i never thought i'd ever be in a more complicated situation. what happened to us? things were so good before any of that happened. i used to think you were a good person. back in the day. six months later i hear of some of your douchbag moves and some things that've happened. i've read the after shock people face and i feel them. chus i've been through that too. twice. i've asked people for advice and it's helped a lot. the coping process isn't short. and your actions cause long-term suffering. thanks a lot. for nothing.

ohmyfriggingosh

you ruined me.

ever since that event back in the day, i haven't forgotten it since. the past 6 months that it's happened have been ok, but i've been somewhat living in my own silent hell. the more i try hiding it, the easier it's gotten. til things got better between us and once everything started up again, i realized how much i missed you, but i also realized how much i hated you. i never thought i'd ever be in a more complicated situation. what happened to us? things were so good before any of that happened. i used to think you were a good person. back in the day. six months later i hear of all your mischievous events.

omg

i haven't blogged in forever. o_O
so today, i went to montclair mall with april, her mom, and nikoh and her mom treated me to nordstrom food which was SOOOOO bomb :O then we went to forever 21 but april said i'd like the one at the montebello mall better so we took off for there. holy crap. it's HUGGE. like heaven. lol. i picked out 2 dresses and it took forever to figure out which one i should get x_x but i settled on the 'better looking' black one but i still want the yellow one D: man. then tita took me and april to my house and i updated her ipod and tita came back and picked us up and we got boba at quickly :D heehee then we went to schabarum park but it was already closed :( we were gna go horse back riding rawr. then we went too gloria park instead and this little chinese girl kept following us. her name was stephanie. it was weird. and bryan alfred and sonny came and it was like 2 different groups. awkward. but it's k. today was fun

april made me a twitter. i find it both boring and interesting at the same time.
twitter me.
twitter.com/anjelhaha

omg

i've been neglecting to blog x.x

so this past week was pretty fun :D

monday, bryan came over and we chilled in my room and i attempted to make these easy make cookies that didn't flatten out so i got pissed -_- fail. he called his mom to get picked up around 7 and i started feeling kinna sick x.x then his brother came and got him.

tuesday i went to mana's house to cook. omgg ! we made booomb cookies ! :D and creme brulee ! and we started to make chocolate mousse but we ran outa time and jessica took me with her to her house to pick up her cousin. then we went out in search of crocs at shoe city and the mall. i saw guy cj in front of tilly's. hi cj. wednesday i went to universal with my cousins (: it was fun. except i lost my voice tuesday so i couldn't scream -_-

this ridee. omg. it was soooo fun. go ride it (: some random mexican guy rode it with us o_o rofl. hi bryan ;) but i got kinna dizzy. but js ride it (: the line wasn't long when we went there but idk bout now since it's getting more into summer and all. i bought a veggie burger there ! omg. i didn't know they sold it til i heard a french guy order. haha. how cool x]

so then on thursday i had to go to this church thing and i met a bunch of japanese people and they gave me all this origami stuff. how coooool x] but then on friday i started getting sick x.x i was like dying. i was walking around with my friends and then i had to go sit down chus i was feeling dizzy x.x menn. so i'm js staying home today and i'm looking forward to hopefully going to six flags on thursday with austin and april and whoever else is going x.x

funnel chunks (:

rofl. yesterday was chill. but i don't remember what i did. i think bryan texted me at like 2am and i was like texting with my eyes half open for an hour and then i finally fell asleep and i woke up at 6 to tell him i was sorry i stopped replying x] then i woke up at 8 to see if he was up then i showered and he ended up not being able to pick me up til 11 chus of cleaning. and he cleaned his whole house in 2 hours and it took me 2 hours to clean under my bed the same day o_o and he finished before me. then he picked me up and we watched xmen in his room but then i fell asleep and i looked at old yearbooks after and then we slept some more and then justin kept texting 'cockblock' and alfie called and told me to make cookies then we got up and cooked funnel chunks xD and i got burnt by the oil and it hurt then we washed dishes and he fed me cactus :O omg. it was good. then he showed me his backyard and his smelly dogs x] haha. then we went back inside and chilled and then alfie and justin came and they were matching with red and i had my cranberry jacket -_- so it kinna made three of us and bryan and his mom were making WHOREchatas and justin and alfie kept pulling 'do you remember' jokes and i didn't get it chus they were 'bro' jokes D: then alfie took me home and i ate mac and cheese while they ate at souplantation chus i couldn't go -_- then i fell asleep while bryan was taking a shower and he called me and we were talking but we were half asleep so we were like talking and we didn't even know what we were saying and we fell asleep and i woke up (:

ohbtw. ily, boyfrann.<3

OHMYGOSHH!

last day of school today (: boring pe final -_- all we did was play lucky haha. and the stupid girl's locker room attendant wouldn't open the lockers -_- idiot. but we got in and then henry helped me carry my stuff to ap euro and we presented our dishes and had a banquet :D then my section counted down to junior timmeeee and we were early. rofl. then me, bryan, dan, justin, alfred, ashley, and erika went to banana bay xD and i saw some of my freshman, now sophomore, friends. hehe. we had a girl and guy car. thennn. they left to get ready for graduation and me and dan went to bryan's casa and we met his parents andandand :DDDDDDDDD then his brother dropped bryan off at school then me at my house and then dan. heeeeeehe. today was fun. i love it (:

one more day !

omg ! :O school's almost out ! i haven't blogged for a while. i don't know what to say x] life's been good (: i have a large reading list for my summer. i bought almost four books today. my life's been going great. except for when i'm at home. s'all good. peace.

ohhhmy. technology fasting ):

dangit. stupid white noise english project thing. we're doing this technology fasting thing for hiett's class where we can't use any electronic devices for the whole weekend D: starting midnight. that freakin sucks. -_-

well today i went out with bryan after school and we bought thai tea from dolphin bay. we had some complications with thatchus he kept getting confused about which one was thai tea and which was milk tea. rofl. but we got it done. then we went to rowland heights park and chilled. we played on the playground and while we were swinging, a little girl confronted us and was like 'hey. i know this playground is for little kids. why are you here?' and i repsponded with 'i am a little kid.' and i smiled at her and she looked frustrated and walked away. then we climbed this thing and sat there for a while and the same little girl came up to us again and was like 'HEY! what are you waiting for ?! get down here!' and i was like 'uhh. we like it up here.' haha. it was pretty funny. then they left.

me and bryan transfered to the little kiddie playground and we had a talk. i like spilled out everything that's happened between us and what's gone on with me. then he went into deep thought. :/ we were quiet for like forever. then i dragged him out of the playground and we sat on a bench and everything was fine again. haha. we talked about his graduation present that he figured out -_- apparently i'm really obvious (: but then we talked about how i didn't wna get him a black pillowcase for it chus his jizz would show xD then i had to leave and we texted and got into this whole conversation about guys and masturbation and wet dreams o_o ohmygoodness. it's so gross. tmi.

off to enjoy the last hours i have of technology for the weekend.
au revoir, bon nuit. (:

:)

today i failed an english test in first period. hehe. it went by fast x]

second period i had a talk with kristie about bryan and she told me things that made me tear up. when the bell rang, i ran out of there.

third period i forgot it was run day D: suck.

fourth period i got a c on my french project x.x heheheehheheehhe. i always get bad grades on second semester projects -_-

fifth period we took notes on 'reds' and my teacher fast forwarded and covered up the sex scene. rofl. i wrote bryan part one of his end of the year presents.

lunch time bryan actually came up to me ! for the first time. haha! x] and i gave him his note and my french project penis. lol. JUSTIN BROKE IT CHUS HE STUCK IT IN HIS SHIRT AND HE TRIED FIXING IT WITH GUM. that bryan stiffed. haha. choir kids are funny x] so basically i spent lunch with choir people and then the bell rang and i dragged bryan to sixth period with me

sixth period i finally understood my homework ! i never understood it in koyfman's precal class last year D: i think he intimidates me x.x he's so hard.

things unraveled throughout sixth and seventh period through text messages with bryan since i had classes. but i'm satisfied x]

i tried sleeping in seventh but i can't seem to sleep in my classes anymore x.x ohwell.

then i got home and did hw and texted some more and now i'm trying to figure out summer school stuff (: i spent the day in my room with a sick cousin. i hope i don't get sick.

au revoir for now.

la marathon !

oohhhhh. today was so tiring x.x we woke up around 6 and we had chocolate chip, blueberry, and buttermilkd pancakes. haha. it was good. everyone at mile 20 was filipino ;) haha. so there were some cute guys playing music on speakers. hehehe. thank goodness for old people sororities and fraternities who have cute kids. x] but we were there from like 7am til 1pm. omg. i was so tired. but it was ok. rofl. we came home with over a dozen gallons of water -_- and i got a scratch on my right thigh chus of the stupid gate. it's  really long scratch and it hurts like a mother.

after our volunteer work was done, we ate out at numero uno pizza place and i had a pineapple and sun dried tomato calzone. it was good x] then we went back to my aunt's house, packed our stuff, said our goodbyes, and went home. i don't quite remember what comes after that. i know i was asleep the whole ride home. i'm dead tired

now dan just picked up our ugly french project -_- i hope we get a decent grade. his dad looks quite scary, but he js said that he's nice to his friends and i should really be scared of his mom. lol. his mom looks ok x] but most filipino moms i know are crazy. hehe

los angeles part 1

today, i got up at 8 and fought over the shower with my mom. i won. then at 9:30 me and my uncle and 2 other cousins left to go to la and we got here like an hour and a half early. then we left at 11 to the la convention center to help outwith passing out goodie bags and stuff. during the four hours, i made 2 new friends that i'll be seeing next year and we got lots of shirts. angelo called me and my aunt got mad chus i was supposed to be working and people were walking past me. but then our time was over and everyone was dead tired and we walked out with a crap load of shirts. oh. and i got angelo one chus he told me, soo yee.

when we got home, we ate dinner, which was all these vegetarian things, and then we went to yogurtland but the line was huuuge so we had to go to coldstones, which was closed, and then we go to baskinrobins just in time chus it was about to close. thank you steve for paying for my ice cream. hehe. not my cone x] but he won't read this chus apparently he doesn't like bloggers. after that, we went back to my aunt's house and i took the weirdest shower

cousin: angie, good luck taking a shower

me: why?

cousin: don't worry. i had to take care of the problems, now you have to

me: fine.

problem #1 - i couldn't get the towel to hang on the little stub they call a 'towel hanger' -_- it was like ugh. but eventually i figured it out. haha

problem #2 - the water was strong. we had to turn the things really slowly so that we could get the water just right.

problem #3 - THE SHOWER DOOR WOULDN'T CLOSE

i had to hold it the whole time >:O which isn't what ate did and she didn't tell me til morning the next day. you're supposed to stuff your towel in between so it closes.

problem #4 - shampoo and soap

there were five million different kinds of shampoo there. dog shampoo. took a while to find the right one.

but i think those were all the problems. then i went to bed and woke up at 12:30 to a fire truck which woke up all the dogs in the neighborhood, who started barking and woke me up x.x

oh, goodness.

so last night i was super exhausted after pop show. pop show was really good, btw. i think it's too late to tell you to watch, though. hehe.

so yesterday i don't even remember what happened. i think it's chus of the monster i drank in second to third to fourth. i dont think my body responds well to monster D: i was so hyper in second then it died down and i was tired but i wasn't tired the rest of the day.

we started this kind of boring movie in history. i have no idea how to answer the questions loza gave us.

during lunch i felt like i had to barf. i have no idea what was wrong. and i had a headache. i hung out with dan and then we went to the library and played tetris on the computers. rofl. i never thought i'd ever go to the library during a lunch. i didn't know roevee was behind me until he called me an idiot. haha. for some reason, my barf-headache feeling went away.

then sixth period came and i guess i seemed really depressed. mr baumunk was really nice about it though and he let me get out of the class to see my counselor and i was kind of out of class for a long time. most of the time i was talking to friends but eventually i saw my counselor and asked her about summer school. i need to find out where to take chem. 

seventh period my barf headache came back. omg. it sucked. i don't remember a lot that happened friday. i only remember my group hated me in second for doing such complicated rsvp cards and that in sixth i was really sad.

after school dan came over to do our french project that's due on tuesday and we're really screwed. D: this is gna kill our b's -_- we went to the park around 5:30 and he was hungry so i made mac and cheese that we took to the park. we were playing on the playground. haha. it was fun. we left at 6 and went to school and i went in the guy's bathroom. it's sooooooo dirty. how gross. i'd hate to be a guy and have to pee there. rofl. then we had to go to the front chus we weren't allowed back there. then we bought tickets to pop show and jack johnson music was playing :D and we waited til it started. then dan had to pee and we saw sam and she was like 'why are you here' like.. not to be rude but chus bryan was there and yeah. x.x suck. then i saw moses and he gave me a piggy back ride and then me and dan went back in and it started.

omggg. it totally killed me(haha catcher) when fcking bryan came out -_- sucksucksuck. but that's k. i started getting into the show and then i didn't really care much. but it still was kinda ugh. thennnnnnn intermission ! and tam said there was an extra seat in the front and me and dan moved there. we squished all the seats together to make a bench so we could all fit but dan ended up wanting to sit on the floor, which he did. haha. omgg. it's so weird. bryan's spot was like in front of me so i couldn't help but looking and i think once, he looked at me back and i was like 'crap'.

then pop show ended and i was gna say hi to bryan, but i was like 'no nvm. he's so happy i'll js let him be. if he wants to talk to me then he can come up to me.' which he did. and he waved and walked to me and like.. i jumped over and we went into the intense hug that lasted a while and he was mumbling something i couldn't hear but i was js like whatever. i'll make this moment last until i got curious and then we started talking.

after a while i decided i had to go and machie met my mom and i met her mom and we took dan home real fast chus he had to take a crap. rofl. 

SATURDAY ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADING ! :D

today, i ate out with my mom and some church friends at marie calendar's and it was so weird chus rachel was our waitress and i've never pictured her doing her job before and then i got to see it in real life o_O lol. anyway. it was fun. i was the only one who didn't finish my food and i had lemon meringue pie for dessert :D it was ok but too creamy.

when i got home, i watched the curious case of benjamin button. brad pitt is flipping hot. haha. it was a really sad movie ): but it's so long x]

that's all for today (: i'm off to my aunt's house in la tomorrow and i'll be back monday night.

life comes at you fast, and the surprises jump right at you when you least expect it.

as said by Benjamin Button, "You never know what's coming for you."

with love,

gella.

GOODMORNING !

goodmooorrrninggg, man ! happy midnight. what joy spending midnight doing a research paper. but i'm lagging it by chatting with edmund rofl. about my problems. and about the project -_- stupid paper. i was gna vent out here, but edmund got it off my chest. rofl

soooo. happy birthday jojo ! eighteen. legal age.

at first, i was too chicken to wish him happy bday so i told edmund to toss a coin and i'd guess which side it landed on. if i guessed right i would wish jojo happy bday. and i guessed right but idk if he was lying. but i wished him anyway. and i think i woke him up. my bad. sorry.

welllll today was gay. kinda. idk. sometimes i still like bryan but sometimes i dont. so gay.

dan lost his american apparel bag D: with all his showcase stuff. aww. that really sucks. so we had to cancel our pho date. ohwell. that's k. there's always tomorrow before we do our french project.

i met matthew today ! :D i've always wanted to meet him ): he looks so cool. i've always made these little comments to him but i've never really talked to him or really met him so i told dan to introduce me. and he did (: smank yooh dann andrew recio.

so for the climax of my day..

at lunch, i guess i kept looking for him and then he popped out of the hideout and walked next to dan and dan was like 'there he is!' omggg. could he be more obvious? i think it got awkward chus the expression on bryan's face was awkward x.x ohemgee. js gotta drop it and keep on going. i feel like change. pip pip hoorah.

let's be like the little train that could or whatever it was. it was a train that was persistent. haha. but let's keep on going and live life chus each day's a new day with new surprises. there's not enough time to focus on the past. it's time to live for the future.

wuhwuhwednesdayyy!

ohgoodness. today was kinda good. idk. first period i was lucky we didn't have a test on white noise. i hate that book. it's so boring. i'm so excited for our project in second period (: i'm so proud of my rsvp and invite cards. they're so nice. haha. i'm scared for cooking. i hope all turns out well. i think it will. we have kristie. haha. oh. bryan talked to me. we said hi. and i borrowed his pencil.

third period i swam ! with my friend faith chou (: haha. the water was so cold at first. but then it got warm. me and henhan played tag lol. but i got tired and i was js floating in the middle. he freakin drowned me. my stomach is drowning in water. at the end of the period, me and faith manned up and jumped off the diving board. HENRY was supposed to follow -_- but his little butthead chickened out. gaygaygay. you owe me.

foouurrthh periodd ! bought another bag of bonbon's. gave like four to cristine. i found out there was some funky pork thing in bonbons. no longer allowed to eat certain candy x.x why are good things so gross.

fifth period we continued watching the mozart flick. it's pretty good. if mozart really acted like that in real life, he's weird. but i love his laugh. lol. it's so funny.

lalalunch. omgg. i hate having to see him leave -_- gaygaygay! i spent it with machie. then we chilled with dan. then nadine. then off to april and them but then the bell rang. but before that, bolton showed us the cutest porno. rofl. with balloon animals x] haha.

sixth period was ok. i finished my hw. adam told me to smell his armpit -_- and i made this weird grossed out noise that disrupted the class. my bad. it's so weird. every time i see lionel i always see him looking at me o_O there's something wrong with my face.

seventh perriiodd ! was boring. rofl. i saw ron adjust his wedgie o_O

me: what are you doing?

ron: oh. oops. how awkward. it always sucks chus when i do it there's always at least ONE person that sees me and it's just really awkward.

me: HAHAHA !

i couldn't stop laughing. rofl. but bio was kinda fun today x]

zach whipkey is such a cutie ! i swear. rofl. his hugs are bomb (: and i always seem to be excited when i see him. lol. no. but i don't like him. he's js got this vibe of 'coolness.' haha. i guess x] i'm weird.

then after school my mom and i went shoppinggggg ! :D new clothes. well. shorts. i don't like buying shirts from forever 21 anymore -_-  i'm scared someone else'll have it, so i don't even think about it. i'm waiting til my mom takes me to av (: and i'm taking danrecio with me. ohohoh - french project friday. he better not forget.

hehe. my kuya michael's birthday is tomorrow. i forgot how old he's gna be. happy 20 something ! haha.

i miss the old days. back when i could stay out til 1 or 2am just hanging with my group. when we'd go out every weekend and just chill doing nothing. i'm stupid.

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

  ~Paul Boese

restlessness.

"its sad when people you know become the people you knew. how you just pretend that they never were a big part of your life, how you were able to talk for hours and how now, you cant even look at them. man up, it could be worse."

- Evelyn Yen.

i like evelyn's blogs. they're so deep sometimes. kinna like she just lets out all her emotion on a blog post. that's kind of hard for me to do. i get scared at who reads my blog and what might happen if i type the wrong thing and they read it. life's a game and it's not getting any easier. the levels of frustration get higher, peer pressure increases, and you break away from people you were once close to before.

there's people who i've lost for the stupidest reasons. i couldn't be mature and handle the situation like how it's SUPPOSED to be handled. instead i act like an immature spoiled brat and play the cold shoulder game. thanks to my idiocy, i have lost one of my most trusted friends and another friend who i was hoping to learn more about. even if people say i should live life without regrets, these are the ones that i regret greatly. as he once said, "things happen for a reason."

i'm so utterly and truly sorry for all that i've done. until today, i still beat myself up for my two wrongdoings with you guys. the death glares, cold shoulders, consistent complains to my close friends; i love one dearly and the other, i still have much to learn. i'm sorry for all my bs and my wasted efforts of keeping up a friendship. as much as i say i tried, apriltherese knows i didn't give my all. there are still more lessons to learn about life, more time to grow, more time to make better choices.

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.

tuptuptuesday.

last night was crap. me and my mom got into a fight because i FORGOT to bring my lunch to school. she said "apparently my cooking is UNappreciated" WHUP DE FREAKIN DOO. as usual, she jumps to conclusions and i just pretty much tune her out like always. anyway. she was yelling at me in the kitchen in front of my cousins and assuming all her bs and then i yelled back and she pulled my hair. whatever. i couldn't sleep that night for some reason so i decided i might as well start my hw that i didn't do that day at like midnight. i finished and i went to bed at like 1. but i finished "speak." now i js wna buy the other books i'm aiming to read. i added "catalyst" to the list.

i woke up this morning, not a word to my mom. we pass eachother, yet no words whatsoever. in the car, she was trying to make small talk, yet i refused to cooperate. i'm a stubborn btch. i know. :/ i FINALLY get to school. thank goodness. turned in my extra credit white noise and finished some of the foods final project. we did more than what we needed. i think our project is gna turn out pretty.

second period i was unsuccessful in getting his attention.

third period pe i just about died running laps. -_- i can't wait til next year. pe, no more. but tomorrow me and faith swim in the dreaded pool that's full of period one and two's germs.

fourth period, i bought bonbons and they were all gone by the end of lunch. i forgot to save some for cristine o_o i'll buy some tomorrow for her. mybad. dan makes this class fun. lia, jason, jessica, and yessinia(spelling?), too.

fifth period we watched more of uhhh the mozart movie. it's sooo good. but eventually i got tired of watching. i never thought i'd get tired of watching a movie during class.

lunch time me and april skipped out on the last french club meeting. i don't think we're going to the banquet. ohwell. i wanted to go but it's too late to turn in the money now i think. :'( i spent lunch with dan today. it was fun. haha. stupid tam and dongju! idk whose sister she is but she's cute. first i heard she was dongju's then i heard she was tam's, then i heard she was donju's sister and tam's girlfriend o_O then the bell rings and off to sixth period.

my baumunk's the best teacher. he comforts. friday he let me vent out some feelings to him. i love baumunk. i wanted to sleep today but i ended up finishing my hw. it was easy though. i finished like two assignments in a period. i told eric tan about the drama back in eighth grade at rincon. ugh. middle school days. i can't wait til school's over. hi, april.

ohohoh. lionel came into sixth late today and i our conversation went a little like:

me: liooonneeel !

him: -nods and laughs like a LOT-

me: hahahaha (i looked at his eyes and they were like red)

me: ARE YOU HIGH !?

lionel: -nodding and laughing- hahahah yeeeaaah.

roflrofl. lionel's funny. he's got the CUTEST smile when he smiles with his braces (:

too bad he's a pot head. rofl. 

seventh period was so rawr. i didn't know how to do anything x_x gaygaygay. zach's so cute. lol. i always meet him before class. he smells good x] machie vented to me. henry and i tried to figure out the stupid fossils. apparently henry met up with greg after school. good for him. haha. april came over and she was supposed to do her portfolio but she ended up on the computer the whole time. lol. i did my foods project. omg. i love our rsvp invitations. they're so cute but so much work. i think it took me half an hour to an hour to do one. but it's worth it if we get an a.

dan had to go to showcase rehearsal so we didn't do our french project again today. ugh. my cousin michael's birthday is on thursday. he's sick right now. ew. swine flu. jk. not really. idk. 

i started an apology/goodbye letter for bryan today in seventh. idk if i should find out his locker and stick it in there or buy him a goodbye gram and tell them to attach my letter to it or whatever. i just know that before this school year's over, i want us to talk again. i don't want us to part in silence. woe is me.

let's learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat the past. take on new adventures, make new mistakes, and learn from them once again. learn from this ongoing process called "life."

no topic.

oh. and by some miraculous miracle, bryan, if you're reading this,

i'm a bitch. sorry.

hello, world

yesterday i went to the beach with some friends from church; tiffani and nikki. i didn't really get to take pictures chus we were busy swimming and stuff. we looked for a lot of sea shells. haha. then nikki's sister, tiffany, came along with her husband, i forgot his name, and casandra, her daughter. 

we were posted right next to life guard dock numero 21. the life guards were hot.


i started reading this new book. it's really good.

&we ate a lotta junk food. that we didn't finish.


i ended my beach visit with writing my name in the sand. it was hard chus people kept walking in front of it while i was taking the picture and then the waves kept coming.

after the beach, we went to tiffany's apartment and watched the bootleg new xmen. omgg ! it's soooo good. go watch it. hugh jackman's fooiinnee. (: but it's a sad movie. and stay after the credits chus there's more.
nooww for today,it was so ugh. but it was ok i guess. i got a 77 on my french test that i didn't study for. i spent lunch with my good friend machie tabaru and we updated ourselves on what happened during the weekend (: haha. i think robert caught me looking at him -_- awkward. a lot of awkward stuff happened with me today. oh. i was so tired today. even if it was late start. I CAME LATE ON LATE START. mr hiett was like 'people who come late on late start are pathetic' ohmy. lol. ohwell.after school i went with april to her dentist. then we went to food 4 less and then target where there were no more dr grips for dan(sorry dan). after came the mall. and finally, home.i'm still reading "speak". i have a whole reading list: something about a "wallflower," "the outsiders," "lucky," "things not seen," and i still have to read "white noise" for school. oohhh my reading schedule's booked. how exciting (:
books are the essence of my getaway from the unwanted realities of life.

let's swim the stress away.

whooaaa. today was soooo... ok.
woke up, texted josh, texted dan, made future project plans with dan, kept conversation with josh, got dressed, waited for mom to eat, went to michael's, bought peach o's and molding clay, saw people in prom attire taking prom pictures, went to albertson's in ontario, bought ice cream, went to my uncle's, put on sunscreen while eating ice cream, swam, got hit on the head several times with a ball, tread water for five minutes straight, took a shower, looked in the mirror to see my burnt face and now dark body, texted 'robert,' played twister 3 times, won once, ate fish with my hands, tried speaking tagalog, served rice for my 16 year old guy cousin on a teletubby plate, made/ate chocolate chip cookies, watched some resident evil: extinction, played mario galaxy, went pee, washed hands, finished game plan, collected my things, went home, texted eric in the car, made phone plans with josh, got home, threw my stuff on the bed and in my closet, now i'm blogging. and i js dropped my blackberry on the keyboard.

so about my conversation with 'robert,' it totally kind of killed my day.
btw, thanks again, for nothing, nada, zip.
honestly, i really did like you but you're being unstable and i don't think you really know what you want.
on and off for two times in a row, this off is finally final.
i'm sick of the bs, i'm sick of making the first move, i'm sick of always having to do the approaching.
no worries, no more, chus it's all over now. it was fun while it lasted, but nothing really happened.
although you said you didn't wna hurt me, and apologies do no good, it all happened anyway chus you think too much.

tell me.
was it worth it?