restlessness.

"its sad when people you know become the people you knew. how you just pretend that they never were a big part of your life, how you were able to talk for hours and how now, you cant even look at them. man up, it could be worse."

- Evelyn Yen.

i like evelyn's blogs. they're so deep sometimes. kinna like she just lets out all her emotion on a blog post. that's kind of hard for me to do. i get scared at who reads my blog and what might happen if i type the wrong thing and they read it. life's a game and it's not getting any easier. the levels of frustration get higher, peer pressure increases, and you break away from people you were once close to before.

there's people who i've lost for the stupidest reasons. i couldn't be mature and handle the situation like how it's SUPPOSED to be handled. instead i act like an immature spoiled brat and play the cold shoulder game. thanks to my idiocy, i have lost one of my most trusted friends and another friend who i was hoping to learn more about. even if people say i should live life without regrets, these are the ones that i regret greatly. as he once said, "things happen for a reason."

i'm so utterly and truly sorry for all that i've done. until today, i still beat myself up for my two wrongdoings with you guys. the death glares, cold shoulders, consistent complains to my close friends; i love one dearly and the other, i still have much to learn. i'm sorry for all my bs and my wasted efforts of keeping up a friendship. as much as i say i tried, apriltherese knows i didn't give my all. there are still more lessons to learn about life, more time to grow, more time to make better choices.

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.